Artists are continually reinventing ourselves. I love when I see people after a couple years and they are new. Musician friends do it the most I think. All new clothes, identity, artistic expression, music style, etc. I love the commitment, the dedication, the creativity. So exciting. I always wanted to do something like that but I never had the courage to go all the way. Or the ability to decide on one style! I always change day to day. But once I was diagnosed I kind of lost my identity. I have tried to rally up the ambition to start over but it keeps falling. I guess I was looking at it from the outside in. I was looking at it from a superficial perspective. To go inward is what needs to happen. Change from the inside. However, I made my first step in Mexico by changing my name.
After I went to Mexico City to work with an Aztec medicine man for a month I came back with a new name. AMARA. we took the T off my name. In Spanish Amara is like saying beloved. Beautiful. To be reborn was part of the ceremony and healing. Being reborn is being renamed. I also took my family name on my mother's side Zaragoza, as my last name. It’s a drastic change and changing it for my career is scary because your name is how you get work right? What if people don’t know who I am or I don’t get anymore work? Or if people attack, you know the internet is fickle! People feel free to complain about other peoples choices a lot. But you know what, who cares! Some of my friends are ok calling me Amara and some don’t want to. It’s difficult. I am also supposed to move to a new place, so I moved to a new neighborhood. I like it. It feels like an adventure.